


Don't Dimension the Future

by redwoodroots



Series: Epilogue Zine Goodness: Wendy and Don't Dimension It [1]
Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Don't Dimension It, Don't Dimension It theme, Wendy Dimension, dimension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2019-12-24
Packaged: 2021-02-25 05:33:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21930739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redwoodroots/pseuds/redwoodroots
Summary: Weirdmaggedon is over and life is proceeding as usual - which, for Wendy, means words like "sophmore" and "college application" and "job market."  The pressure is on, everything is changing, and Wendy is less than pleased.  She's also not the only Wendy who feels that way!
Series: Epilogue Zine Goodness: Wendy and Don't Dimension It [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1579354
Kudos: 7





	Don't Dimension the Future

**Author's Note:**

> HELLO FELLOW FALLSIANS! Welcome back to the fandom that shall never die! This fic was written for the Epilogue Zine - links below - and each writer or artist chose a story from the Epilogue to use for inspiration. Mine was...wait for it..."Don't Dimension It." (SHOCK! SURPRISE! AWE!) Prepare thine selves for a most Wendalicious adventure!
> 
> https://twitter.com/lostlegendszine?lang=en
> 
> https://lost-legends-zine.tumblr.com/

Wendy eyed the wood pile behind the cabin. It was Saturday morning, and she was about to perform her favorite chore: bossing her brothers. They had a lumberjack competition coming up and it was her job to supervise their practice.

“Wendyyyy!”

She looked up. Her friends shlepped around the cabin, Nate and Lee in the lead as usual, Robbie and Tambry doing that couple hug-walk. Thompson brought up the rear.

She grinned. “Hey, guys! What's up?”

Robbie eyed the logs. “You still getting apocalypse training? Been there, done that.”

“Nah, this is for my little bros' lumberjack competition. Gimme a sec.” She grabbed a couple of logs and dumped them on the ground. “GUS! KEVIN! GET YOUR BUTTS OUT HERE OR I'M EATING YOUR JERKY STASH, I KNOW WHERE YOU HID IT!”

Nate snickered. “I swear we could summon you guys with a stick a jerky.”

“Either that or plaid flannel,” she agreed. “Also, why are you guys alive before noon on the weekend?”

“Blame him,” Nate said, elbowing Lee.

“Not my fault! My mom wanted me to get up and find a... _job_. Like an actual job! With words like 'resume building' and 'promotion' attached!” He shuddered.

Wendy rolled her eyes. “Please. Like we need to –”

“I got hired by Chelsea's Hair and Nails last night,” said Tambry.

“Wait, what?”

“Bet none of you got job offers from four different bands,” Robbie bragged. “People recognize talent when they see it.”

Nate rolled his eyes. “Wendy, please take this guy down, I will give you free classes at the yoga studio.”

“Oi!”

“Relax, Lee, I already made you a member.”

“That's why we bros.”

Wendy's gut squirmed. Since when were all of her friends getting actual, career-sounding jobs? What were they going to do next, talk colleges? She'd gotten some scout letters already, but she'd stuffed them under her bed. Weren't they just going to goof off all school year like they normally did?

Suddenly Gus and Kevin burst out of the cabin and she sighed with relief. “Finally! You guys ready to bring the pain?!”

Gus stopped short. “Uh, actually, Marcus is gonna watch us today?”

“Say what now?”

“Dad wanted you to go into the forest? For hardwood? To make a keyboard?”

“He's trying to learn computer stuff but he keeps breaking the ones from the store,” Kevin added.

Wendy stared at them. “ _Our_ dad? Is learning tech from _this century?_ ”

“Call the Shack, we got a new spooky attraction,” Nate joked.

“Yeah...yeah. No, I got it. Be right back.” She turned robotically and started walking away. She glanced back to see Marcus come out of the cabin and her friends sitting down to wait, then they were lost between the trees.

Wendy was feeling pretty lost herself. What the heck was up with her friends? Everything was supposed to go back to normal after Weirdmaggedon. Did they all get dunked bubbles of madness or something? Why were they suddenly worried about the future?!

A beam of sunlight hit her smack in the face. She'd reached the clearing where the mailbox was – only it wasn't there anymore. Just a bunch of scorch marks and a weird shimmer in the middle of the air.

Geez, did _everything_ have to change!? She turned to stomp away.

Something yanked her and she fell chin-first on the ground, hard. Something was dragging her backwards. She flipped over with a shout. The weird shimmer in the air was widening into a huge multicolored rift, and it was slowly sucking her in!

She scrabbled at the dirt, then grabbed her ax and slammed it into the ground, but her fingers slipped and she went tumbling into the void.

The next thing she knew she was lying on a smooth, glassy surface, feeling like she'd just been steamrolled by a herd of Woodstick tourists. She groaned and forced her eyes open.

She gasped.

The place was full of Wendies! Dinosaur Wendies, Blob Wendies, Historically-Themed Wendies, even a Wendy who was literally made of fire. There was a huge redwood tree a little ways away, and massive glass towers slanted up from the horizon. The sky overhead was scattered with multicolored stars, so close Wendy could even see a couple of planets. One of the planets was her own head!

“Oh, great, not another one.”

Scowling down at her was a Wendy with a black-and-gray plaid flannel hoodie and black jeans, surlier than Robbie and somehow even pastier than Dipper.

“Uh, hi?” Wendy said.

“Don't we have enough Wendies here already? Go back to whatever log cabin you crawled out of.”

“Anti-Social Wendy, quit bothering the newcomers!”

Wendy stood up as a third Wendy came running over. She had wolf ears, cat eyes, and seriously cool fangs.

“Hi! Wendy, right? That's Anti-Social Wendy, who's clearly late for her appointment skulking around in a corner.”

“There's no corner left for skulking,” ASW shot back heatedly. “This place _used_ to be empty. It _used_ to be quiet. Now it's so full you can't turn around without getting a mouthful of gross red hair.”

“Ignore her,” the new Wendy said, rolling her eyes. “She does that to all the newbies. Anyway, welcome to W3N-D! Lemme give you the tour. That's Redwood Wendy.” She pointed to the redwood, where a lot of other Wendies were hanging out in the branches.

“Is that plaid-patterened bark?”

“Yeah, but don't bother making a shirt out of it, it itches like crazy. That's Goth Wendy, WednesWendy, Wendybot 61800, who is part tank and will not let us drive her, WendIQ, Eyeball Wendy...”

Wendy looked around, a smile growing on her face. ASW had slouched off to bother WendIQ, but every Wendy she saw was either doing nothing, climbing Redwood Wendy, or eating jerky. And nobody mentioned resumes or college applications. This was her kind of place!

“...and I'm Were-Wendy,” her guide finished. “Not to be confused with Where's Wendy –”

“Over here!” shouted a Wendy in a striped sweater.

“WE KNOW!” shouted every other Wendy.

Wendy laughed. “Hey, do we have an evil twin?”

“Yeah, WenDiva. Over there.”

Were-Wendy pointed to a cubicle of transparent glass. Inside was a Wendy wore a silk dress, six-inch heels, and enough jewelry to buy a continent. Nothing else was in the cube except a flannel blanket and a speaker that played carnival jingles nonstop.

“Every last one of you is a fashion nightmare!” WenDiva shouted, banging on the glass. “I could make better outfits out of candy wrappers and trash bags! WILL SOMEONE TURN OFF TURN OFF THAT MUSIC?!”

Wendy raised an eyebrow. “You sure that's our evil twin?”

“Oh, totally. She said plaid was a trend and flannel was a fashion faux-paux.”

“Clown music is too good for her.”

“Agreed? Oh – would you excuse me a sec? Ax Wendy is trying to chop down Redwood Wendy. Again. AX WENDY! THAT TREE IS OFF LIMITS! DON'T MAKE ME GET PROFESSIONAL LUMBERJILL WENDY!”

She vanished into the crowd and Wendy wandered around until she found WendIQ, who was sitting in the middle of a mess of computer parts and talking animatedly to Lumberjill Wendy.

“What're you guys doing?” Wendy asked.

Lumberjill Wendy grinned and hefted a large wooden beam. “We're gonna build the ultimate Wendy treehouse, complete with bean bags and monster plushies!”

“That rocks,” Wendy agreed. Then ducked to avoid the beam when Lumberjill hustled away. “Man, I had no idea this place even existed. I would've come here ages ago!”

“Right?” WendIQ held up a circuitboard. “This place has everything – zero pressure, great company, and we can do whatever we want! It's like this place was designed by some interdimensional being specifically for us!”

“Wait, what?”

“It's true, I did some research on it! There's a bunch of other dimensions that automatically attract variations on a single individual! Although I think ours malfunctioned, because our rifts are all still right where they – uh, does your dimension have a whack-a-mole problem?”

Wendy looked up.

“SOOS!”

Soos grinned and waved from the rift as she hurried over. “Hey, dawg! I saw your ax on the ground out here and got worried. Also, did I hit my head or something? I'm seeing like...a million of you.”

“Six hundred eighteen!” called Calculator Wendy.

Wendy grinned. “You're not gonna believe it, Soos, this place is like a Wendtopia! Literally everybody here is another Wendy from another dimension. They're even building a mansion-sized tree house!”

“Wow, that sounds awesome!”

“Right!? It's basically a Wendtopia! We never have to worry about jobs or colleges again!”

“Wait, never? Does that mean you're not coming back?”

“Wrong – you're _all_ going back!”

They whipped around. ASW Was standing on top of WenDiva's cell, a massive high-tech bazooka resting on her shoulder.

“I'm sorry!” WendIQ cried. “She started talking about bazookas and it just sounded cool!”

“Shut up!” ASW snarled. “All I wanted was one place, _one place_ where there was zero pressure from peers or parents or past-due library books, and you guys ruined it! It's so crowded I can hear all my other selves think! Well _I'M SICK OF IT!_ ”

She fired. It was instant pandemonium. Several Wendies got blasted back through portals, sometimes two or three at a time, while the rest scrambled to get to Redwood Wendy and climb to safety.

Soos grabbed Wendy's arm but she shouted and body-flipped him on reflex. When he tried to push her into the rift she ducked, and then ASW aimed the bazooka at them and they both leaped away, the laser coming close enough to singe Wendy's hair. They grabbed hands and sprinted for the tree, diving behind its trunk for cover. The laser blasted scorch marks in the glass floor on either side.

Soos squeaked. “Dood, I left the portal! Are we trapped here now?!”

“No, no, all our portals are still open, but she shouldn't be kicking us out! This dimension was _literally made_ for us! I mean a psychotic triangle made it but still!”

“Wait, Bill made –”

“GONNA FIND YOU, WENDIES!” ASW shouted. It sounded like she was off the cubicle and prowling around the tree trunk. They scooted around to stay out of sight.

He lowered his voice. “Look, Wendy, I don't think this dimension is a good place to be. I mean, you're not even acting like yourself. Normally you'd go all kick-but Corduroy on Anti-Wendy.”

“She's not Anti-Wendy, she's Anti- _Social_ Wendy. There's a difference.”

“You sure? Because you're hiding instead of going home to your family. Seems like the real Anti-Social Wendy is you, dawg.”

“It's not about my family, it's about my future –” She stopped short and winced. Since when did she sound like an old-timey soap opera?

“Your future?” Soos repeated. “But, you're barely in sophomore year! What do you have to be worried about?”

“Like you even know. You've known what you wanted to do your whole life. Now you've got your own business and a stable relationship and probably at least one reader for your Stanfics who isn't Dipper or Mabel.”

Soos laughed. “Oh, yeah – Stan gave me a like on my werepenguin chapter! I took a screenshot and framed it on my wall.”

Wendy groaned and sat down hard, pressing her face into her knees.

“Aw, Wendy.” There was a heavy thump, then Soos' hand patted her shoulder. “Don't worry, dude. You're smart, confident, and totally rescued me that one time I got stuck up in a tree and couldn't come down.”

“You were literally only two feet up. Besides, that doesn't count, I've been doing that since I was six! I can't keep doing the same thing over and over and expecting it to still be cool! But – I don't know what else I'm supposed to do, or even what I'm supposed to want. I'm not ready for the future yet. And I definitely don't want to end up like Anti-Wendy.”

They heard more zapping and Anti-Wendy's maniacal laughter.

“Look, Wendy, no one's ever magically ready. It just looks like adults know what they're doing. I've been working at the Shack for years and I'm still trying to figure stuff out, like how to actually do taxes or ordering action figures online.”

Wendy's lips twitched. “Sounds like my dad. He's trying to use computers without crushing them.”

“Exactly! Although he may want to get something like, practically indestructible.”

Wendy snickered. “Bet I could ask WendIQ to make something. Thanks, Soos.”

“ _There_ you are.”

ASW stood in front of them, ax-bazooka aimed and ready.

Wendy stood up slowly. “Easy, Anti-Wendy. I was just leaving.”

“I'll bet you were,” ASW growls, eyes narrowed. “Take the gopher and get.”

“There's no jerky in here,” she continued. “Like at all. And any place with no wifi is not my style. But the _real_ reason I'm leaving?” She grinned fiercely. “I'm gonna apocalypse the crud outta the future!”

She lunged, ax out, and banged the bazooka away right as Anti-Wendy fired. The shot hit Redwood Wendy and left a massive crater in the bark.

“FOR REDWOOD WENDY!” all the other Wendies yelled, and poured down the burnt bark like a plaid-colored tidal wave.

Anti-Wendy never stood a chance.

An hour later Wendy was walking back through the forest, whistling, her ax resting on her shoulder and a virtually indestructible keyboard tucked under her arm.

Anti-Wendy had been confined to WenDiva's cell, which worked out because she could now skulk in peace all she wanted. Half of the Wendies had decided to stay, but after realizing there was in fact no jerky at all, they'd decided to return to their own dimensions. That, and W3N-D had no showers. Lumberjill Wendy was getting seriously ripe.

She stepped into her back yard. Marcus was still supervising Gus and Kevin; she could hear her father inside the cabin, yelling at the computer screen; and her friends were sitting in a circle nearby. Lee was burning a stick of jerky. He spotted her and jumped to his feet.

“It worked! The Wendy has been summoned!”

“Dude, where've you been?” Nate asked. “Robbie's gone from annoying to I-need-an-alibi-for-murder levels of insufferable.”

Robbie shrugged. “Hey man, I got six college scout letters and you didn't. Accept it. Embrace it.”

Lee sputtered. “We haven't even started senior year!”

“It's a winner's circle thing.”

“You were in ONE PROPHECY!”

Nate groaned. “Wendy I will give you all the jerky in my pocket right now to take this loser down. How many college acceptance letters did you get?”

A slow grin spread over her face. “Eighteen. And I'm applying to every last one.”

**Author's Note:**

> Whaaaat? This is part of a series???
> 
> WHY YES THANK YOU FOR NOTICING!!!!
> 
> THIS is the fic that went into the zine. But I actually had another Wendy-themed idea that was too awesome not to write, so I created a WHOLE 'NOTHER FIC!!! Click next work, click it click it click iiiiiit!


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